It’s Not You, It’s Me - Setting Boundaries With Your Child

 Ever had to break up with your child?  It’s the most absurd thought, but all relationships deserve a little space at some point.  Here’s my story…

Once upon a time, I had a son.  I call him Papa.  I fed him, loved him and tried to even breastfeed him, but that was a bust (no pun, intent ended).  He just could not latch on without the aid of a Lactation Consultant.  After a while, that got old and I felt super inadequate.  But, that is a story for another time.  Back to us.  

We were inseparable, at the supermarket, banks, movie theaters, church, and the post office.  If you saw me, Papa was not too far behind.  All throughout our bonding though, I felt clustered.  Everything revolved around him from sunup to sundown.  Since he woke up at 7am, I had to be up by 5am.  Then, there were feedings, bath time, packing the baby bag, fixing the stroller, and my desperate attempt to fit ME into the mix.  Can you say overwhelmed?

What has my world come to?  Papa.  That’s what.  

First of all, the lack of adult interaction was killing me.  I made up his part of our conversations until he could speak on his own.  The overexertion to be the best mom was simply too much for me!  As a result, I would have sporadic breakdowns.  I never intended to have children, and yet, here we are-Mother and Son, making this thing work.  I love him and my world would not be as profound without his existence. 

Even with that said, parenting has been rough, and not because he’s a bad child.  Raising another human, in itself, is taxing.  Parenthood, is a full-time job with hardly any breaks unless you have people on-call to relieve you.  And, even then, your thoughts are generally focused on how your child is doing.  (Perhaps, this is just a phase relevant for new moms).  Who knows?

I am slowing leaning into me and what I want out of life.  I am being intentional on prioritizing the most important member of my life - me.

So, to my dear son:  Mommy loves you and I am taking a break.  We are not officially breaking up.  I just need space.  It’s not you; it’s me.